Today's Scripture: Romans 6:17-18
Thought for the day: "Condemnation defeats us. Conviction unlocks the greatest potential for
change."
Ok...this is starting to get a little creepy. I had an incident happen today and I said to myself, no matter what my devotional is about, I have to write about this tonight. Ummmm....guess what my devotional was about??? YEP!!! You got it!
Today I looked up my son's grades online and was quite disappointed. They are not where they need to be. So I sat him down and we started talking about. As we were talking, I was starting to get irritated and at one point...I said something super sarcastic. Now, I've been trying really hard to not do that, because I know it hurts his feelings. I caught myself and I apologized to him, but it didn't matter, cause the damage was done. I hurt his feelings, made him cry and felt like a horrible mom in the process. I could have handled that differently. I didn't have to let the situation get me upset. I didn't have to let his indifference push me to snap back at him.
I spent the whole time I was making dinner beating myself up about my reaction. I felt shame because I've been reading this devotional and writing about how I'm going to make all these great choices, but then when given the opportunity...I mess up. Way to go, Kat.
Then I picked up my devotional and read today's entry. Yep, perfect response to that situation. It basically said that when I mess up like I did, it's ok to feel the conviction of the wrong choice that I made. I can learn from the conviction. It's like when I gently correct the boy on something he's doing wrong. I'm not trying to make him feel bad, just trying to teach him. That's what God just did to me. He just pointed out a different way for me to talk to my son.
What I felt was condemnation. The beating myself up, the guilt and the shame that I felt was all self-induced. God didn't put that on me. I put that on me.
So, I think that I can better recognize the opportunity to be gentle and respond the way God wants me to as opposed to be a sarcastic smart-aleck.
Ya know...every time I pray and ask God to show me how He's working in my life...He does something like this. He gives me what I ask for. So why am I always so surprised when it happens???
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Balance
Today's Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:5
Thought for the day: "Our Lord doesn't whisper shameful condemnations."
Ever have those thoughts running through your head that you're not good enough? You're a loser, nothing you do is right, no one could love you...yada, yada, yada. Let me tell you...this is the story of my life. There are so many times...SO many times...it's all I hear. I think I've mentioned it before, but I am the queen of the crappy self esteem. There are times that I am so insecure, scared and confused.
But I know all of those negative things that I hear in my head are not coming from God. He doesn't put us down or make us feel shame. He loves us and wants us to be our best selves. He convicts us when we do wrong, but He does it in a loving way.
But ya know...it's one thing to know it in your head...and another to know it in your heart. Isn't it odd how your brain and your feelings can be completely opposite? How is it that you can know one thing, but feel something else? How do I find a balance between the two?
Thought for the day: "Our Lord doesn't whisper shameful condemnations."
Ever have those thoughts running through your head that you're not good enough? You're a loser, nothing you do is right, no one could love you...yada, yada, yada. Let me tell you...this is the story of my life. There are so many times...SO many times...it's all I hear. I think I've mentioned it before, but I am the queen of the crappy self esteem. There are times that I am so insecure, scared and confused.
But I know all of those negative things that I hear in my head are not coming from God. He doesn't put us down or make us feel shame. He loves us and wants us to be our best selves. He convicts us when we do wrong, but He does it in a loving way.
But ya know...it's one thing to know it in your head...and another to know it in your heart. Isn't it odd how your brain and your feelings can be completely opposite? How is it that you can know one thing, but feel something else? How do I find a balance between the two?
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Same stuff, different day...
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 12:16
Thought for the day: "I have to make the choice very day to interrupt my fleshly tendencies of yelling and getting angry over minor things."
So, I've noticed a pattern with this devotional. It all seems to be about making the right choices. Choosing to ask God to help with the self-control and the anger and the frustration and the daily irritations and the annoyances of every day.
While that all sounds great, it's getting a little repetitive.
And it sounds easy to do, right? Just take a step back, don't react in the moment, think about it and make the right decision. Sounds easy peasy. But it's not. It's a continual struggle every day. Maybe that's why this devotional is repetitive. Trying to push that point home.
So, I guess I'll continue to pray. I've been trying to pray every day. They've been short but I'm praying.
Thought for the day: "I have to make the choice very day to interrupt my fleshly tendencies of yelling and getting angry over minor things."
So, I've noticed a pattern with this devotional. It all seems to be about making the right choices. Choosing to ask God to help with the self-control and the anger and the frustration and the daily irritations and the annoyances of every day.
While that all sounds great, it's getting a little repetitive.
And it sounds easy to do, right? Just take a step back, don't react in the moment, think about it and make the right decision. Sounds easy peasy. But it's not. It's a continual struggle every day. Maybe that's why this devotional is repetitive. Trying to push that point home.
So, I guess I'll continue to pray. I've been trying to pray every day. They've been short but I'm praying.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Patterns
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 15:18
Thought for the day: "Am I trying to prove I'm right or improve this relationship?"
This used to be huge for me. I always had to be right. I still have flashes of moments when this is very true. It's something that I struggle with every day. Especially when I'm dealing with people that I don't like or that already get on my nerves and make me angry.
What's worse, is that I not only have to be right, but I have to prove I'm right too. Guess I should probably stop doing that. Easier said than done, right?
Guess it's time to make the choice to change my perspective and realize that there is something that I probably just didn't know and that maybe, just maybe, I should shut up and listen to see the other person's side.
Stop. Pray. Think. Listen. Choose. Hmmmmm...I'm beginning to see a pattern here and I'm not best pleased. (That's a quote from the play "Potted Potter" but it is rather fitting here!)
Time to get on that!
Thought for the day: "Am I trying to prove I'm right or improve this relationship?"
This used to be huge for me. I always had to be right. I still have flashes of moments when this is very true. It's something that I struggle with every day. Especially when I'm dealing with people that I don't like or that already get on my nerves and make me angry.
What's worse, is that I not only have to be right, but I have to prove I'm right too. Guess I should probably stop doing that. Easier said than done, right?
Guess it's time to make the choice to change my perspective and realize that there is something that I probably just didn't know and that maybe, just maybe, I should shut up and listen to see the other person's side.
Stop. Pray. Think. Listen. Choose. Hmmmmm...I'm beginning to see a pattern here and I'm not best pleased. (That's a quote from the play "Potted Potter" but it is rather fitting here!)
Time to get on that!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Great expectations...
Today's Scripture: 2 Corinthians 9:8
Thought for the Day: " It's unfair of me to use my expectations as the standard for someone else's behavior or hold it against her when she doesn't live up to my hopes."
I have done this. I know that I set my expectations of others too high. It's like I just expect them to do what I believe they should. That doesn't mean it's the right thing or what God wants them to do, it's just my expectations. And honestly, they are probably pretty unrealistic. And I think that because I have set such unrealistic expectations, I have just set that person up to fail. And when they fail, I get angry, disappointed, and hurt. And because I start to feel angry, disappointed and hurt, I take those feelings out on others. Which then starts the whole snowball effect I talked about yesterday. It's one big, ugly circle.
Today was kinda of a rough day. I'm not sure rough is the right word. I feel a little overwhelmed with some information that was given to us today. And there are some serious decisions that need to be made. I'm so torn as to what to think and what to feel is right. Because I have such a hard time understanding and knowing when God is talking to me, I don't know which direction we should go. I have prayed. Honestly, probably not as much as I should have. But I'm desperately going to try to pray consistently about this issue this week. If we fail, we lose a lot. If we succeed, we gain even more. How do we move forward? What are we doing that is hindering our success? Is this what God wants us to do? Why would God want to take people out of our lives that are my role models as Christians? I know that God has a plan. And I know that I want answers. And yes, I know that just because I want answers doesn't mean that God will give them to me.
One person today said that God is trying to break our dependence on others so that we can be fully dependent upon Him. That really makes sense to me. But do I have enough faith to believe that God can provide? That's a very tough question. I want to be able to answer yes. I can answer yes with my words, but do my actions follow that answer? Will my actions follow that answer? I don't know.
I know what my expectations are for this situation, but are they unrealistic? Am I doing it again? Am I being selfish in my expectations because it's what I want and not what God wants?
Am I being bitter and not letting go of the hurt and anger that I have towards those that put us in this situation? Have I truly not let go? Have I let myself come to expect those feeling from and towards those people. When I think about it...I think I have. And that's a very unrealistic expectation, which I think was shown to me yesterday when I was with some of those very people that I thought only cared about themselves.
If you pray, please pray for guidance for me this week. Please pray that I can hear what God wants me to do in this situation. Please pray for my church and my church family. And please pray for the congregation of my old church that are struggling with the announcement today of the resignation of their pastor.
Thanks for listening...
Thought for the Day: " It's unfair of me to use my expectations as the standard for someone else's behavior or hold it against her when she doesn't live up to my hopes."
I have done this. I know that I set my expectations of others too high. It's like I just expect them to do what I believe they should. That doesn't mean it's the right thing or what God wants them to do, it's just my expectations. And honestly, they are probably pretty unrealistic. And I think that because I have set such unrealistic expectations, I have just set that person up to fail. And when they fail, I get angry, disappointed, and hurt. And because I start to feel angry, disappointed and hurt, I take those feelings out on others. Which then starts the whole snowball effect I talked about yesterday. It's one big, ugly circle.
Today was kinda of a rough day. I'm not sure rough is the right word. I feel a little overwhelmed with some information that was given to us today. And there are some serious decisions that need to be made. I'm so torn as to what to think and what to feel is right. Because I have such a hard time understanding and knowing when God is talking to me, I don't know which direction we should go. I have prayed. Honestly, probably not as much as I should have. But I'm desperately going to try to pray consistently about this issue this week. If we fail, we lose a lot. If we succeed, we gain even more. How do we move forward? What are we doing that is hindering our success? Is this what God wants us to do? Why would God want to take people out of our lives that are my role models as Christians? I know that God has a plan. And I know that I want answers. And yes, I know that just because I want answers doesn't mean that God will give them to me.
One person today said that God is trying to break our dependence on others so that we can be fully dependent upon Him. That really makes sense to me. But do I have enough faith to believe that God can provide? That's a very tough question. I want to be able to answer yes. I can answer yes with my words, but do my actions follow that answer? Will my actions follow that answer? I don't know.
I know what my expectations are for this situation, but are they unrealistic? Am I doing it again? Am I being selfish in my expectations because it's what I want and not what God wants?
Am I being bitter and not letting go of the hurt and anger that I have towards those that put us in this situation? Have I truly not let go? Have I let myself come to expect those feeling from and towards those people. When I think about it...I think I have. And that's a very unrealistic expectation, which I think was shown to me yesterday when I was with some of those very people that I thought only cared about themselves.
If you pray, please pray for guidance for me this week. Please pray that I can hear what God wants me to do in this situation. Please pray for my church and my church family. And please pray for the congregation of my old church that are struggling with the announcement today of the resignation of their pastor.
Thanks for listening...
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Life happens...
Ok, so I'm not going to give any excuses. I haven't read my devotional in quite a while. But I'm starting again...picking up where I left off. Sorry. Just going to say that life happens.
Today's scripture: 1 Peter 4:7
Thought for the day: "Feelings are indicators, not dictators."
The author talked about how when you get irritated, that your feeling just snowball. Things continually happen until you are so angry that you feel like you're going to explode. Oh my goodness have I been there! One thing happens, then another and another then I'm ready to explode at anyone who says anything to me. And unfortunately, it's generally my hubby or my son that get the brunt of it. I have exploded on them more than I care to admit.
Again, it comes down to a choice to not do that. But it's so much easier said than done, isn't it?
The scripture says:
7 Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. 8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
Basically what I got out of this was that when I start to feel angry or about to lose control, I need to just stop what I'm doing and pray. Stop and pray. Stop and pray. Sounds pretty simple, huh.
I can do this. It helped once before when I was having issues with other things. So I know I can do this.
Stop and pray.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Think these things...
Scripture: Philippians 4:8
Thought for the day: " Sip the shame so you won't have to guzzle gallons of unwanted regret."
The devotional talked about when people put a whole heap of hurt on you. The author talked about her daughter's birthday party and how they didn't invite this one girl. The mother of the girl emailed the author and told her she should be ashamed of herself for not inviting the girl. Laying guilt, shame and hurt all over the author.
I've had incidents like that happen to me. I don't like that feeling when people dump all over me and try to make me feel bad. When that happens...my natural and normal reaction is to blow up and retaliate. But...tying into my previous post...I need to make the choice to NOT do that.
I've noticed that these devotionals over the past few days are all along the same line. They flow together rather nicely and just add a little more every day. Because of that, I kinda feel like I'm repeating myself. So bear with me if I do.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble whatever is right,whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
Long story short....look for the positive. Look for the good. Stop focusing on the negative. Because your feelings follow your focus.
'Nuf said.
Thought for the day: " Sip the shame so you won't have to guzzle gallons of unwanted regret."
The devotional talked about when people put a whole heap of hurt on you. The author talked about her daughter's birthday party and how they didn't invite this one girl. The mother of the girl emailed the author and told her she should be ashamed of herself for not inviting the girl. Laying guilt, shame and hurt all over the author.
I've had incidents like that happen to me. I don't like that feeling when people dump all over me and try to make me feel bad. When that happens...my natural and normal reaction is to blow up and retaliate. But...tying into my previous post...I need to make the choice to NOT do that.
I've noticed that these devotionals over the past few days are all along the same line. They flow together rather nicely and just add a little more every day. Because of that, I kinda feel like I'm repeating myself. So bear with me if I do.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble whatever is right,whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
Long story short....look for the positive. Look for the good. Stop focusing on the negative. Because your feelings follow your focus.
'Nuf said.
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