Thought for the Day: " It's unfair of me to use my expectations as the standard for someone else's behavior or hold it against her when she doesn't live up to my hopes."
I have done this. I know that I set my expectations of others too high. It's like I just expect them to do what I believe they should. That doesn't mean it's the right thing or what God wants them to do, it's just my expectations. And honestly, they are probably pretty unrealistic. And I think that because I have set such unrealistic expectations, I have just set that person up to fail. And when they fail, I get angry, disappointed, and hurt. And because I start to feel angry, disappointed and hurt, I take those feelings out on others. Which then starts the whole snowball effect I talked about yesterday. It's one big, ugly circle.
Today was kinda of a rough day. I'm not sure rough is the right word. I feel a little overwhelmed with some information that was given to us today. And there are some serious decisions that need to be made. I'm so torn as to what to think and what to feel is right. Because I have such a hard time understanding and knowing when God is talking to me, I don't know which direction we should go. I have prayed. Honestly, probably not as much as I should have. But I'm desperately going to try to pray consistently about this issue this week. If we fail, we lose a lot. If we succeed, we gain even more. How do we move forward? What are we doing that is hindering our success? Is this what God wants us to do? Why would God want to take people out of our lives that are my role models as Christians? I know that God has a plan. And I know that I want answers. And yes, I know that just because I want answers doesn't mean that God will give them to me.
One person today said that God is trying to break our dependence on others so that we can be fully dependent upon Him. That really makes sense to me. But do I have enough faith to believe that God can provide? That's a very tough question. I want to be able to answer yes. I can answer yes with my words, but do my actions follow that answer? Will my actions follow that answer? I don't know.
I know what my expectations are for this situation, but are they unrealistic? Am I doing it again? Am I being selfish in my expectations because it's what I want and not what God wants?
Am I being bitter and not letting go of the hurt and anger that I have towards those that put us in this situation? Have I truly not let go? Have I let myself come to expect those feeling from and towards those people. When I think about it...I think I have. And that's a very unrealistic expectation, which I think was shown to me yesterday when I was with some of those very people that I thought only cared about themselves.
If you pray, please pray for guidance for me this week. Please pray that I can hear what God wants me to do in this situation. Please pray for my church and my church family. And please pray for the congregation of my old church that are struggling with the announcement today of the resignation of their pastor.
Thanks for listening...
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