So, I haven't blogged in a while. And if I'm 100% honest, I haven't read my devotions or Scripture in a while.
I'm going to start again. And I plan to start blogging about them again.
Some changes have happened and have sparked some overwhelming questions and thoughts. I hope to be able to explore them here.
Be aware, I'm going to be blunt. I'm going to be honest. And I'm not sure how much I will censor in the hope to not offend anyone that may read this. I'm doing this for me. So if I do offend you..I'm just going to say I'm sorry now. I welcome constructive feedback and would love to start a conversation if you want.
Please understand that I am no expert...just a confused individual looking for some clarity.
:)
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
My reactions can be different!
Today's Scripture: Matthew 6:19-21
Thought for the Day: "Refusing to come unglued is the only way to prove to ourselves it is possible to have a different kind of reaction."
So again...we're back to choices. Choosing how to react in the face of things/people that frustrate us, anger us, make us feel less worthy. While many of these negative feelings are easy go-to feelings that we all have...and are normal to have...we have the opportunity to change our perspective on how we handle them.
I have to catch myself when I start to wallow in the negative reactions which can send my life into crazy, ugly chaos. I have to stop myself from believing the worst in myself. I have to pray and turn to God and remind myself that He made me in His image. God doesn't make garbage...I turn myself into it by not listening to Him.
So I have to be more aware of my reactions...think about them and find the positive side to whatever the negative is. Change my perspective...change my reaction. Refuse to become unglued.
Easier said than done...but I'm definitely making progress.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Problems vs. Inconveniences
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 2:11
Thought for the day: "It's good to know the difference between an inconvenience and a real problem."
Yes, yes it is. It's funny how the inconveniences in our lives can seem like they are big problems. When they really aren't. They feel like problems. They feel overwhelming. But if you look at the big picture...they aren't.
When my son forgets to take his homework to school and we have to take it to him, when I am working on a project at work and forget to hit save and the power goes out, when there's been freezing rain all night long and the next morning I can't get my doors open...these are all just inconveniences. Even though at the time, they seemed like huge problems. Problems are the thousands of homeless people living in America, the innocent children that have to struggle to survive cancer, the man who loses his wife while she gives birth to their 5th child. These are problems.
Putting things into their proper perspective is something we need to learn to do. It's something I need to learn to do. There have been many times I have let all the inconveniences in life consume me and turn me into someone cranky and hateful. That is not the kind of person that I want to be. I want to be able to bring some Godly perspective into to my life and realize that I can handle all of these inconveniences and turn them into a learning experience.
Again...it boils down to choice. Choosing to remember that there are so many people out there that have it so much worse than I do. So many people struggling with things that are so much more critical than whether or not I have to run an extra errand.
I can accept these inconveniences with grace and understanding or I can let them frustrate me and turn me into someone I don't want to be.
I'm choosing to pray for grace and understanding. How about you?
Thought for the day: "It's good to know the difference between an inconvenience and a real problem."
Yes, yes it is. It's funny how the inconveniences in our lives can seem like they are big problems. When they really aren't. They feel like problems. They feel overwhelming. But if you look at the big picture...they aren't.
When my son forgets to take his homework to school and we have to take it to him, when I am working on a project at work and forget to hit save and the power goes out, when there's been freezing rain all night long and the next morning I can't get my doors open...these are all just inconveniences. Even though at the time, they seemed like huge problems. Problems are the thousands of homeless people living in America, the innocent children that have to struggle to survive cancer, the man who loses his wife while she gives birth to their 5th child. These are problems.
Putting things into their proper perspective is something we need to learn to do. It's something I need to learn to do. There have been many times I have let all the inconveniences in life consume me and turn me into someone cranky and hateful. That is not the kind of person that I want to be. I want to be able to bring some Godly perspective into to my life and realize that I can handle all of these inconveniences and turn them into a learning experience.
Again...it boils down to choice. Choosing to remember that there are so many people out there that have it so much worse than I do. So many people struggling with things that are so much more critical than whether or not I have to run an extra errand.
I can accept these inconveniences with grace and understanding or I can let them frustrate me and turn me into someone I don't want to be.
I'm choosing to pray for grace and understanding. How about you?
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Ok...totally can't think of a title for this one.. :)
Today's Scripture:
Thought for the day: "Avoiding reality never changes reality."
Ain't that the truth. And we avoid it so many ways, don't we. Well, at least I do. I prefer living in denial. LOL. Ok, not really, but it sure is easier.
The devotional talked about evil desires. It sure sounds ominous doesn't it? But when you think about the things she's talking about in the book, I see how they could be classified that way.
She says:
Selfishness: I want things my way.
Pride: I see things only from my vantage point.
Impatience: I rush things without proper consideration.
Anger: I let simmering frustrations erupt.
Bitterness: I swallow eruptions and let them fester.
I struggle with these issues. More than I think I'd like to admit. I know that by giving in to these evil desires it keeps me from being the calm, loving woman that I want to be. I want to be able to not have those evil desires be my first gut-reaction response. I want to be able to just be able to automatically handle the messes in my life with grace, love and in a Godly manner. But whoa buddy, I am so not there yet!
But God knows my heart. God can lead me in the right direction, if I let him. I just have to surrender all of my issues to him. AND LEAVE THEM THERE! I had to do that part in caps because I'm pretty good at saying "God, I give this to you to fix. Ok, it's been 10 minutes you haven't done anything so let me just take that back and get it off your hands." Hmmm...pretty sure it's not supposed to work that way.
So, when one of these evil desires starts to take over my life...I need to just stop and shut up. Then just say a quick prayer. Ask God to redirect my thoughts into a more Godly direction.
Pray. Need to do that more too.
Thought for the day: "Avoiding reality never changes reality."
Ain't that the truth. And we avoid it so many ways, don't we. Well, at least I do. I prefer living in denial. LOL. Ok, not really, but it sure is easier.
The devotional talked about evil desires. It sure sounds ominous doesn't it? But when you think about the things she's talking about in the book, I see how they could be classified that way.
She says:
Selfishness: I want things my way.
Pride: I see things only from my vantage point.
Impatience: I rush things without proper consideration.
Anger: I let simmering frustrations erupt.
Bitterness: I swallow eruptions and let them fester.
I struggle with these issues. More than I think I'd like to admit. I know that by giving in to these evil desires it keeps me from being the calm, loving woman that I want to be. I want to be able to not have those evil desires be my first gut-reaction response. I want to be able to just be able to automatically handle the messes in my life with grace, love and in a Godly manner. But whoa buddy, I am so not there yet!
But God knows my heart. God can lead me in the right direction, if I let him. I just have to surrender all of my issues to him. AND LEAVE THEM THERE! I had to do that part in caps because I'm pretty good at saying "God, I give this to you to fix. Ok, it's been 10 minutes you haven't done anything so let me just take that back and get it off your hands." Hmmm...pretty sure it's not supposed to work that way.
So, when one of these evil desires starts to take over my life...I need to just stop and shut up. Then just say a quick prayer. Ask God to redirect my thoughts into a more Godly direction.
Pray. Need to do that more too.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Down with a sickness..
Well, as many of you know...I have been pretty sick for the past week and a half. So, honestly, I wasn't feeling well enough to read my devotional, much less blog about it.
A friend of mine made me literally laugh out loud today. She sent me an instant message and said "Oh my gosh! Someone stole your blog post from today!!!!!" That was honestly the best nudge I have ever gotten to get me motivated again!
So...here we go!
Today's scripture: Psalm 37:4
Thought for the day: " Disappointment only stings as long as I let it."
Well, ain't that the truth.
We all have disappointments. From not getting a promotion at work to finding out there is no more ice cream in the freezer. Disappointments are all around us. And it's so super easy to just fall into the self-pity and just roll around and wallow in it. Heaven knows that I have done that. And sometimes it's just so hard to get out of it!! And we never like to do things that are hard now, do we?
Now, when I have the big disappointments in life, ya know, the ones that really hurt...my normal pattern is to wallow in it for a while. I know that if I were to dive into God's Word that I could see all these great examples of how to overcome the disappointment. But if I'm being completely honest, I really don't want to do that. I enjoy the wallowing..at least for a bit. And, not to mention that I have no idea where to start. But I know in my head, all I have to do is look. Isn't it funny that your head can know one thing, but getting your heart and desire to following along is something totally different.
But getting out of that disappointment really just falls on one thing. Choice. I can choose to not let it overwhelm me. It's ok to be disappointed. But choose the right reaction to it. Choose to not let it define you. Choose to not let it swallow you. Choose not to be blinded by it. Choose to look for the positives in life. Choose to look for the good. Choose to remember that God loves you and has a plan for you that will exceed all your expectations. Remember that why your disappointed because you didn't get what you want...God will take care of your needs.
Lots of choices....and attitude adjustments!
Yep, I can do this!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
2 for 1 deal!
Okey dokey...yesterday I was feeling like garbage so I didn't read my devotional or blog. So today you get a 2 for 1 deal!! LOL!
Today's Scripture: 2 Corinthians 7:10
Thought for the day: "Jesus didn't die so we'd be sorry. He died and then was resurrected so we'd be changed." - Steven Furtick
Wow, that's a pretty powerful statement when you think about it. I read it in The New Living Translation version and this is what it says:
10 For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
I'm having a hard time putting in to words what I'm feeling about this one. It's hard to admit that God wants us to feel sorrow. But it's comforting to know that it's not sorrow for sorrow's sake. That there is a reason behind it. It's because he wants us not to sin and to be closer to Him. To work on that love relationship with Him.
I can relate this to my life. When I correct my son on something he's done wrong he always says sorry. But when it's the third or fourth time he's done the same thing wrong....and says sorry...it means nothing. I keep trying to explain to him that just saying sorry doesn't make it right. It's just a word. There's no meaning behind it if you keep choosing to do it over and over.
Being repentant means you want to change that behavior. That you don't ever want to do it again. That it pains you to know you've wronged someone that badly. Without that repentance of my sins, there is no way I can get closer to God.
Today's Scripture: Psalm 94:18-19
Thought for the day: "The only thing that stops the desperation the uncertainties, the twirling, is for the Spirit of God to cover my heart and make it still."
While reading this one...I totally am thinking of a conversation that I had with my friend at church today. We are doing a small group called "Experiencing God" and during this group she very bravely spoke up and said that with the way she grew up, she doesn't feel like she could possibly be a good mom. As a mom myself, I totally get that! There have been tons of times that I have felt like I am a horrible mother. I just blogged about one instance earlier this week.
I've had others tell me that I'm a good mom. Or that I'm pretty. Or that I have a great heart. Or that I'm good at this or that. Or give me any kind of compliment. And while it's nice to hear...and sometimes very needed to hear...sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes I am still filled with sooo much doubt and feel in desperate need of reassurance that it's frustrating.
I read this scripture in The Message version of the Bible...and it made it really hit home to me.
18 The minute I said, “I’m slipping, I’m falling,”
your love, God, took hold and held me fast.
When I was upset and beside myself,
you calmed me down and cheered me up.
Give your fears, your anxieties, your worries, your problems, your concerns, your frustrations and your doubt to God. Let go of them. Step back and watch and feel His love for you. Watch Him take those negative things in your life and turn them into a positive. He can do that!!! And isn't that just the most amazing news?!
I'm going to focus on this scripture too. And will probably post it at work as well. (People are gonna get sick of seeing all this scripture around my desk!) I'm going to hold fast to God's love for me. Are you?
Today's Scripture: 2 Corinthians 7:10
Thought for the day: "Jesus didn't die so we'd be sorry. He died and then was resurrected so we'd be changed." - Steven Furtick
Wow, that's a pretty powerful statement when you think about it. I read it in The New Living Translation version and this is what it says:
10 For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
I'm having a hard time putting in to words what I'm feeling about this one. It's hard to admit that God wants us to feel sorrow. But it's comforting to know that it's not sorrow for sorrow's sake. That there is a reason behind it. It's because he wants us not to sin and to be closer to Him. To work on that love relationship with Him.
I can relate this to my life. When I correct my son on something he's done wrong he always says sorry. But when it's the third or fourth time he's done the same thing wrong....and says sorry...it means nothing. I keep trying to explain to him that just saying sorry doesn't make it right. It's just a word. There's no meaning behind it if you keep choosing to do it over and over.
Being repentant means you want to change that behavior. That you don't ever want to do it again. That it pains you to know you've wronged someone that badly. Without that repentance of my sins, there is no way I can get closer to God.
Today's Scripture: Psalm 94:18-19
Thought for the day: "The only thing that stops the desperation the uncertainties, the twirling, is for the Spirit of God to cover my heart and make it still."
While reading this one...I totally am thinking of a conversation that I had with my friend at church today. We are doing a small group called "Experiencing God" and during this group she very bravely spoke up and said that with the way she grew up, she doesn't feel like she could possibly be a good mom. As a mom myself, I totally get that! There have been tons of times that I have felt like I am a horrible mother. I just blogged about one instance earlier this week.
I've had others tell me that I'm a good mom. Or that I'm pretty. Or that I have a great heart. Or that I'm good at this or that. Or give me any kind of compliment. And while it's nice to hear...and sometimes very needed to hear...sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes I am still filled with sooo much doubt and feel in desperate need of reassurance that it's frustrating.
I read this scripture in The Message version of the Bible...and it made it really hit home to me.
18 The minute I said, “I’m slipping, I’m falling,”
your love, God, took hold and held me fast.
When I was upset and beside myself,
you calmed me down and cheered me up.
Give your fears, your anxieties, your worries, your problems, your concerns, your frustrations and your doubt to God. Let go of them. Step back and watch and feel His love for you. Watch Him take those negative things in your life and turn them into a positive. He can do that!!! And isn't that just the most amazing news?!
I'm going to focus on this scripture too. And will probably post it at work as well. (People are gonna get sick of seeing all this scripture around my desk!) I'm going to hold fast to God's love for me. Are you?
Friday, February 22, 2013
Grace
Today's Scripture: Colossians 4:6
Thought for the day: "The reason I can give grace is because I so desperately need it."
Yes, yes I do. I desperately needs God's grace. It gives me the hope that when I mess up, it will be ok. I just need to learn from the experience.
I really like today's scripture.
6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
It sounds like it's an easy thing to do, doesn't it? Well...beware...it's not!
I'm going to try to remember this scripture. I think I'm going to put it up at work. That way, it will remind me to keep my words kind. Even to those that annoy me.
Thought for the day: "The reason I can give grace is because I so desperately need it."
Yes, yes I do. I desperately needs God's grace. It gives me the hope that when I mess up, it will be ok. I just need to learn from the experience.
I really like today's scripture.
6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
It sounds like it's an easy thing to do, doesn't it? Well...beware...it's not!
I'm going to try to remember this scripture. I think I'm going to put it up at work. That way, it will remind me to keep my words kind. Even to those that annoy me.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Coincidence...I think not!
Today's Scripture: Romans 6:17-18
Thought for the day: "Condemnation defeats us. Conviction unlocks the greatest potential for
change."
Ok...this is starting to get a little creepy. I had an incident happen today and I said to myself, no matter what my devotional is about, I have to write about this tonight. Ummmm....guess what my devotional was about??? YEP!!! You got it!
Today I looked up my son's grades online and was quite disappointed. They are not where they need to be. So I sat him down and we started talking about. As we were talking, I was starting to get irritated and at one point...I said something super sarcastic. Now, I've been trying really hard to not do that, because I know it hurts his feelings. I caught myself and I apologized to him, but it didn't matter, cause the damage was done. I hurt his feelings, made him cry and felt like a horrible mom in the process. I could have handled that differently. I didn't have to let the situation get me upset. I didn't have to let his indifference push me to snap back at him.
I spent the whole time I was making dinner beating myself up about my reaction. I felt shame because I've been reading this devotional and writing about how I'm going to make all these great choices, but then when given the opportunity...I mess up. Way to go, Kat.
Then I picked up my devotional and read today's entry. Yep, perfect response to that situation. It basically said that when I mess up like I did, it's ok to feel the conviction of the wrong choice that I made. I can learn from the conviction. It's like when I gently correct the boy on something he's doing wrong. I'm not trying to make him feel bad, just trying to teach him. That's what God just did to me. He just pointed out a different way for me to talk to my son.
What I felt was condemnation. The beating myself up, the guilt and the shame that I felt was all self-induced. God didn't put that on me. I put that on me.
So, I think that I can better recognize the opportunity to be gentle and respond the way God wants me to as opposed to be a sarcastic smart-aleck.
Ya know...every time I pray and ask God to show me how He's working in my life...He does something like this. He gives me what I ask for. So why am I always so surprised when it happens???
Thought for the day: "Condemnation defeats us. Conviction unlocks the greatest potential for
change."
Ok...this is starting to get a little creepy. I had an incident happen today and I said to myself, no matter what my devotional is about, I have to write about this tonight. Ummmm....guess what my devotional was about??? YEP!!! You got it!
Today I looked up my son's grades online and was quite disappointed. They are not where they need to be. So I sat him down and we started talking about. As we were talking, I was starting to get irritated and at one point...I said something super sarcastic. Now, I've been trying really hard to not do that, because I know it hurts his feelings. I caught myself and I apologized to him, but it didn't matter, cause the damage was done. I hurt his feelings, made him cry and felt like a horrible mom in the process. I could have handled that differently. I didn't have to let the situation get me upset. I didn't have to let his indifference push me to snap back at him.
I spent the whole time I was making dinner beating myself up about my reaction. I felt shame because I've been reading this devotional and writing about how I'm going to make all these great choices, but then when given the opportunity...I mess up. Way to go, Kat.
Then I picked up my devotional and read today's entry. Yep, perfect response to that situation. It basically said that when I mess up like I did, it's ok to feel the conviction of the wrong choice that I made. I can learn from the conviction. It's like when I gently correct the boy on something he's doing wrong. I'm not trying to make him feel bad, just trying to teach him. That's what God just did to me. He just pointed out a different way for me to talk to my son.
What I felt was condemnation. The beating myself up, the guilt and the shame that I felt was all self-induced. God didn't put that on me. I put that on me.
So, I think that I can better recognize the opportunity to be gentle and respond the way God wants me to as opposed to be a sarcastic smart-aleck.
Ya know...every time I pray and ask God to show me how He's working in my life...He does something like this. He gives me what I ask for. So why am I always so surprised when it happens???
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Balance
Today's Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:5
Thought for the day: "Our Lord doesn't whisper shameful condemnations."
Ever have those thoughts running through your head that you're not good enough? You're a loser, nothing you do is right, no one could love you...yada, yada, yada. Let me tell you...this is the story of my life. There are so many times...SO many times...it's all I hear. I think I've mentioned it before, but I am the queen of the crappy self esteem. There are times that I am so insecure, scared and confused.
But I know all of those negative things that I hear in my head are not coming from God. He doesn't put us down or make us feel shame. He loves us and wants us to be our best selves. He convicts us when we do wrong, but He does it in a loving way.
But ya know...it's one thing to know it in your head...and another to know it in your heart. Isn't it odd how your brain and your feelings can be completely opposite? How is it that you can know one thing, but feel something else? How do I find a balance between the two?
Thought for the day: "Our Lord doesn't whisper shameful condemnations."
Ever have those thoughts running through your head that you're not good enough? You're a loser, nothing you do is right, no one could love you...yada, yada, yada. Let me tell you...this is the story of my life. There are so many times...SO many times...it's all I hear. I think I've mentioned it before, but I am the queen of the crappy self esteem. There are times that I am so insecure, scared and confused.
But I know all of those negative things that I hear in my head are not coming from God. He doesn't put us down or make us feel shame. He loves us and wants us to be our best selves. He convicts us when we do wrong, but He does it in a loving way.
But ya know...it's one thing to know it in your head...and another to know it in your heart. Isn't it odd how your brain and your feelings can be completely opposite? How is it that you can know one thing, but feel something else? How do I find a balance between the two?
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Same stuff, different day...
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 12:16
Thought for the day: "I have to make the choice very day to interrupt my fleshly tendencies of yelling and getting angry over minor things."
So, I've noticed a pattern with this devotional. It all seems to be about making the right choices. Choosing to ask God to help with the self-control and the anger and the frustration and the daily irritations and the annoyances of every day.
While that all sounds great, it's getting a little repetitive.
And it sounds easy to do, right? Just take a step back, don't react in the moment, think about it and make the right decision. Sounds easy peasy. But it's not. It's a continual struggle every day. Maybe that's why this devotional is repetitive. Trying to push that point home.
So, I guess I'll continue to pray. I've been trying to pray every day. They've been short but I'm praying.
Thought for the day: "I have to make the choice very day to interrupt my fleshly tendencies of yelling and getting angry over minor things."
So, I've noticed a pattern with this devotional. It all seems to be about making the right choices. Choosing to ask God to help with the self-control and the anger and the frustration and the daily irritations and the annoyances of every day.
While that all sounds great, it's getting a little repetitive.
And it sounds easy to do, right? Just take a step back, don't react in the moment, think about it and make the right decision. Sounds easy peasy. But it's not. It's a continual struggle every day. Maybe that's why this devotional is repetitive. Trying to push that point home.
So, I guess I'll continue to pray. I've been trying to pray every day. They've been short but I'm praying.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Patterns
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 15:18
Thought for the day: "Am I trying to prove I'm right or improve this relationship?"
This used to be huge for me. I always had to be right. I still have flashes of moments when this is very true. It's something that I struggle with every day. Especially when I'm dealing with people that I don't like or that already get on my nerves and make me angry.
What's worse, is that I not only have to be right, but I have to prove I'm right too. Guess I should probably stop doing that. Easier said than done, right?
Guess it's time to make the choice to change my perspective and realize that there is something that I probably just didn't know and that maybe, just maybe, I should shut up and listen to see the other person's side.
Stop. Pray. Think. Listen. Choose. Hmmmmm...I'm beginning to see a pattern here and I'm not best pleased. (That's a quote from the play "Potted Potter" but it is rather fitting here!)
Time to get on that!
Thought for the day: "Am I trying to prove I'm right or improve this relationship?"
This used to be huge for me. I always had to be right. I still have flashes of moments when this is very true. It's something that I struggle with every day. Especially when I'm dealing with people that I don't like or that already get on my nerves and make me angry.
What's worse, is that I not only have to be right, but I have to prove I'm right too. Guess I should probably stop doing that. Easier said than done, right?
Guess it's time to make the choice to change my perspective and realize that there is something that I probably just didn't know and that maybe, just maybe, I should shut up and listen to see the other person's side.
Stop. Pray. Think. Listen. Choose. Hmmmmm...I'm beginning to see a pattern here and I'm not best pleased. (That's a quote from the play "Potted Potter" but it is rather fitting here!)
Time to get on that!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Great expectations...
Today's Scripture: 2 Corinthians 9:8
Thought for the Day: " It's unfair of me to use my expectations as the standard for someone else's behavior or hold it against her when she doesn't live up to my hopes."
I have done this. I know that I set my expectations of others too high. It's like I just expect them to do what I believe they should. That doesn't mean it's the right thing or what God wants them to do, it's just my expectations. And honestly, they are probably pretty unrealistic. And I think that because I have set such unrealistic expectations, I have just set that person up to fail. And when they fail, I get angry, disappointed, and hurt. And because I start to feel angry, disappointed and hurt, I take those feelings out on others. Which then starts the whole snowball effect I talked about yesterday. It's one big, ugly circle.
Today was kinda of a rough day. I'm not sure rough is the right word. I feel a little overwhelmed with some information that was given to us today. And there are some serious decisions that need to be made. I'm so torn as to what to think and what to feel is right. Because I have such a hard time understanding and knowing when God is talking to me, I don't know which direction we should go. I have prayed. Honestly, probably not as much as I should have. But I'm desperately going to try to pray consistently about this issue this week. If we fail, we lose a lot. If we succeed, we gain even more. How do we move forward? What are we doing that is hindering our success? Is this what God wants us to do? Why would God want to take people out of our lives that are my role models as Christians? I know that God has a plan. And I know that I want answers. And yes, I know that just because I want answers doesn't mean that God will give them to me.
One person today said that God is trying to break our dependence on others so that we can be fully dependent upon Him. That really makes sense to me. But do I have enough faith to believe that God can provide? That's a very tough question. I want to be able to answer yes. I can answer yes with my words, but do my actions follow that answer? Will my actions follow that answer? I don't know.
I know what my expectations are for this situation, but are they unrealistic? Am I doing it again? Am I being selfish in my expectations because it's what I want and not what God wants?
Am I being bitter and not letting go of the hurt and anger that I have towards those that put us in this situation? Have I truly not let go? Have I let myself come to expect those feeling from and towards those people. When I think about it...I think I have. And that's a very unrealistic expectation, which I think was shown to me yesterday when I was with some of those very people that I thought only cared about themselves.
If you pray, please pray for guidance for me this week. Please pray that I can hear what God wants me to do in this situation. Please pray for my church and my church family. And please pray for the congregation of my old church that are struggling with the announcement today of the resignation of their pastor.
Thanks for listening...
Thought for the Day: " It's unfair of me to use my expectations as the standard for someone else's behavior or hold it against her when she doesn't live up to my hopes."
I have done this. I know that I set my expectations of others too high. It's like I just expect them to do what I believe they should. That doesn't mean it's the right thing or what God wants them to do, it's just my expectations. And honestly, they are probably pretty unrealistic. And I think that because I have set such unrealistic expectations, I have just set that person up to fail. And when they fail, I get angry, disappointed, and hurt. And because I start to feel angry, disappointed and hurt, I take those feelings out on others. Which then starts the whole snowball effect I talked about yesterday. It's one big, ugly circle.
Today was kinda of a rough day. I'm not sure rough is the right word. I feel a little overwhelmed with some information that was given to us today. And there are some serious decisions that need to be made. I'm so torn as to what to think and what to feel is right. Because I have such a hard time understanding and knowing when God is talking to me, I don't know which direction we should go. I have prayed. Honestly, probably not as much as I should have. But I'm desperately going to try to pray consistently about this issue this week. If we fail, we lose a lot. If we succeed, we gain even more. How do we move forward? What are we doing that is hindering our success? Is this what God wants us to do? Why would God want to take people out of our lives that are my role models as Christians? I know that God has a plan. And I know that I want answers. And yes, I know that just because I want answers doesn't mean that God will give them to me.
One person today said that God is trying to break our dependence on others so that we can be fully dependent upon Him. That really makes sense to me. But do I have enough faith to believe that God can provide? That's a very tough question. I want to be able to answer yes. I can answer yes with my words, but do my actions follow that answer? Will my actions follow that answer? I don't know.
I know what my expectations are for this situation, but are they unrealistic? Am I doing it again? Am I being selfish in my expectations because it's what I want and not what God wants?
Am I being bitter and not letting go of the hurt and anger that I have towards those that put us in this situation? Have I truly not let go? Have I let myself come to expect those feeling from and towards those people. When I think about it...I think I have. And that's a very unrealistic expectation, which I think was shown to me yesterday when I was with some of those very people that I thought only cared about themselves.
If you pray, please pray for guidance for me this week. Please pray that I can hear what God wants me to do in this situation. Please pray for my church and my church family. And please pray for the congregation of my old church that are struggling with the announcement today of the resignation of their pastor.
Thanks for listening...
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Life happens...
Ok, so I'm not going to give any excuses. I haven't read my devotional in quite a while. But I'm starting again...picking up where I left off. Sorry. Just going to say that life happens.
Today's scripture: 1 Peter 4:7
Thought for the day: "Feelings are indicators, not dictators."
The author talked about how when you get irritated, that your feeling just snowball. Things continually happen until you are so angry that you feel like you're going to explode. Oh my goodness have I been there! One thing happens, then another and another then I'm ready to explode at anyone who says anything to me. And unfortunately, it's generally my hubby or my son that get the brunt of it. I have exploded on them more than I care to admit.
Again, it comes down to a choice to not do that. But it's so much easier said than done, isn't it?
The scripture says:
7 Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. 8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
Basically what I got out of this was that when I start to feel angry or about to lose control, I need to just stop what I'm doing and pray. Stop and pray. Stop and pray. Sounds pretty simple, huh.
I can do this. It helped once before when I was having issues with other things. So I know I can do this.
Stop and pray.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Think these things...
Scripture: Philippians 4:8
Thought for the day: " Sip the shame so you won't have to guzzle gallons of unwanted regret."
The devotional talked about when people put a whole heap of hurt on you. The author talked about her daughter's birthday party and how they didn't invite this one girl. The mother of the girl emailed the author and told her she should be ashamed of herself for not inviting the girl. Laying guilt, shame and hurt all over the author.
I've had incidents like that happen to me. I don't like that feeling when people dump all over me and try to make me feel bad. When that happens...my natural and normal reaction is to blow up and retaliate. But...tying into my previous post...I need to make the choice to NOT do that.
I've noticed that these devotionals over the past few days are all along the same line. They flow together rather nicely and just add a little more every day. Because of that, I kinda feel like I'm repeating myself. So bear with me if I do.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble whatever is right,whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
Long story short....look for the positive. Look for the good. Stop focusing on the negative. Because your feelings follow your focus.
'Nuf said.
Thought for the day: " Sip the shame so you won't have to guzzle gallons of unwanted regret."
The devotional talked about when people put a whole heap of hurt on you. The author talked about her daughter's birthday party and how they didn't invite this one girl. The mother of the girl emailed the author and told her she should be ashamed of herself for not inviting the girl. Laying guilt, shame and hurt all over the author.
I've had incidents like that happen to me. I don't like that feeling when people dump all over me and try to make me feel bad. When that happens...my natural and normal reaction is to blow up and retaliate. But...tying into my previous post...I need to make the choice to NOT do that.
I've noticed that these devotionals over the past few days are all along the same line. They flow together rather nicely and just add a little more every day. Because of that, I kinda feel like I'm repeating myself. So bear with me if I do.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble whatever is right,whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
Long story short....look for the positive. Look for the good. Stop focusing on the negative. Because your feelings follow your focus.
'Nuf said.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Peacemakingly honest
Scripture: James 3:17
Thought for the day: "If I catch myself pretending or proving, I know I'm processing my hurt the wrong way."
Seriously??? Really??? I was just talking today to a couple of my friends/co-workers that I am really trying to be more respectful to those people I don't get along with. I'm trying to not be so quick to say bad things about them, ridicule them or belittle them. Then I read today's scripture. I first read it in the New Living Translation. Then I decided, well let me read it in The Message version...
17-18 Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
You...You....You're good You.
I know I really shouldn't be shocked that He's showing me these things. That He's helping me see and confirm my path. I mean, it's what I've been asking Him to do. But wow!!!
Ok...so I just got that confirmation that I'm headed in the right direction. So here's my thoughts. Tomorrow I am going to try to look for the good in everyone who comes across my path. I'm going to try not fly off the handle if someone makes me angry and I'm going to try to be peacemakingly honest.
Hmmmm...what does peacemakingly honest mean, you ask? As I was reading my devotional, the author stated that not all expressions of emotions are real honesty. It could just be emotional spewing. I kinda liked that phrase. These emotions could be jaded by only knowing one side of the situation. Just because I'm being honest with how I'm feeling, doesn't mean I'm not exaggerating or making the situation seem worse than it is.
It also stated that being a peacemaker without honesty is basically saying everything is fine when it really isn't. Stuffing all those feelings, not talking about them until one day....KABOOM! You explode all over anyone who is in the same proximity as you. And we all know that I never do that. Ok..I couldn't even type that with a straight face. :)
So, I've been writing this blog for about a week and a half. I know this is my journey, but I certainly would love some feedback from anyone who is reading this. Am I alone in feeling this way? Am I the only one out there going through this stuff? Maybe. But I can't help but think I'm not. Let's talk.
Thought for the day: "If I catch myself pretending or proving, I know I'm processing my hurt the wrong way."
Seriously??? Really??? I was just talking today to a couple of my friends/co-workers that I am really trying to be more respectful to those people I don't get along with. I'm trying to not be so quick to say bad things about them, ridicule them or belittle them. Then I read today's scripture. I first read it in the New Living Translation. Then I decided, well let me read it in The Message version...
17-18 Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
You...You....You're good You.
I know I really shouldn't be shocked that He's showing me these things. That He's helping me see and confirm my path. I mean, it's what I've been asking Him to do. But wow!!!
Ok...so I just got that confirmation that I'm headed in the right direction. So here's my thoughts. Tomorrow I am going to try to look for the good in everyone who comes across my path. I'm going to try not fly off the handle if someone makes me angry and I'm going to try to be peacemakingly honest.
Hmmmm...what does peacemakingly honest mean, you ask? As I was reading my devotional, the author stated that not all expressions of emotions are real honesty. It could just be emotional spewing. I kinda liked that phrase. These emotions could be jaded by only knowing one side of the situation. Just because I'm being honest with how I'm feeling, doesn't mean I'm not exaggerating or making the situation seem worse than it is.
It also stated that being a peacemaker without honesty is basically saying everything is fine when it really isn't. Stuffing all those feelings, not talking about them until one day....KABOOM! You explode all over anyone who is in the same proximity as you. And we all know that I never do that. Ok..I couldn't even type that with a straight face. :)
So, I've been writing this blog for about a week and a half. I know this is my journey, but I certainly would love some feedback from anyone who is reading this. Am I alone in feeling this way? Am I the only one out there going through this stuff? Maybe. But I can't help but think I'm not. Let's talk.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Choices
Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7
Thought for the day: "In the situations where I want to come unglued, I always have the choice to be a reactor or a responder."
Hmmmm...which do I want to be? Well obviously we all want to be a responder. Someone who is thoughtful, kind, gentle, and thinks things through before they act. But those who know me...know that is sooooo not me! I am a big time reactor. Probably a nuclear reactor!! It is such a natural reaction that sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. The author suggests asking yourself the following questions...and I'm quoting her:
1. Do I want to escalate this conflict or dissipate it?
2. Do I want more trouble or more grace in my life?
3. Do I want to be known as harsh or gentle?
4. Do I want to get my own way or help find a resolution?
5. Which do I care more about - demanding my rights or displaying right choices?
Those are all very valid questions. And in the heat of the moment...I certainly hope that I remember some of them.
A while ago, at work, I used to be known as the mean one. That really bummed me out when someone told me. I never thought of myself as mean. I always thought I treated people with respect and kindness, but evidently I was not. I think for the most part, I've lost that part of my reputation, although many know it can still be a part of me. The hardest part for me right now, is working with those difficult people that I just...don't...like! Whether it be a personality conflict or because I don't like their behavior, I still have to work with them. I still have to be professional. I still have to be a better person than what I have been. I don't want to jeopardize my job for them. So this is when I really need to step back and think of those questions...and add...are they worth getting so upset about. What I really need to do...is pray. And quite honestly...I don't do enough of that.
The scripture for today says:
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
How encouraging! God doesn't want me to be scared! God doesn't want me to be a cranky old lady! God wants me to have self-discipline and self-control! I want those things too!
So...I will continue to work on being a responder instead of a reactor. I will try my best to remember those questions when a difficult situation arises. I will remind myself, REPEATEDLY, that just because I don't like someone...God still loves them. Therefore, I need to be mindful and thoughtful of my actions and my words.
I can do this.
Thought for the day: "In the situations where I want to come unglued, I always have the choice to be a reactor or a responder."
Hmmmm...which do I want to be? Well obviously we all want to be a responder. Someone who is thoughtful, kind, gentle, and thinks things through before they act. But those who know me...know that is sooooo not me! I am a big time reactor. Probably a nuclear reactor!! It is such a natural reaction that sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. The author suggests asking yourself the following questions...and I'm quoting her:
1. Do I want to escalate this conflict or dissipate it?
2. Do I want more trouble or more grace in my life?
3. Do I want to be known as harsh or gentle?
4. Do I want to get my own way or help find a resolution?
5. Which do I care more about - demanding my rights or displaying right choices?
Those are all very valid questions. And in the heat of the moment...I certainly hope that I remember some of them.
A while ago, at work, I used to be known as the mean one. That really bummed me out when someone told me. I never thought of myself as mean. I always thought I treated people with respect and kindness, but evidently I was not. I think for the most part, I've lost that part of my reputation, although many know it can still be a part of me. The hardest part for me right now, is working with those difficult people that I just...don't...like! Whether it be a personality conflict or because I don't like their behavior, I still have to work with them. I still have to be professional. I still have to be a better person than what I have been. I don't want to jeopardize my job for them. So this is when I really need to step back and think of those questions...and add...are they worth getting so upset about. What I really need to do...is pray. And quite honestly...I don't do enough of that.
The scripture for today says:
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
How encouraging! God doesn't want me to be scared! God doesn't want me to be a cranky old lady! God wants me to have self-discipline and self-control! I want those things too!
So...I will continue to work on being a responder instead of a reactor. I will try my best to remember those questions when a difficult situation arises. I will remind myself, REPEATEDLY, that just because I don't like someone...God still loves them. Therefore, I need to be mindful and thoughtful of my actions and my words.
I can do this.
Monday, February 4, 2013
One of those days...
Scripture: Isaiah 43:18-19
Thought for the day: " The best thing for me to do is to position my heart in a place where I can experience God."
Every day, the devotional has a title. Today's is..."Rainy Days and Mondays."
I've been feeling a little overwhelmed for a few days now. Things are off, and I don't really want to get into the reason why, so just trust me when I say they're off. I feel alone, sad, frustrated, and angry. There are a bunch of other feelings swarming around as well...but I'm not sure I can identify them all.
I need to remember that God has a plan for me. There's a reason I'm feeling this way. Maybe it's because I'm trying to open myself up more to God and Satan just keeps trying to break me. Maybe it's because once my feelings get hurt, I have a tendency to immerse myself in it. I wallow around in self pity and refuse to face what the real problem is. See, I hate conflict. I try to avoid it as much as possible. As a matter of fact, I avoid it much to my own detriment. I end up causing more hurt and pain to myself and others cause I just won't talk. Really gotta work on that.
In the devotional, the author has a list of things that she has to remind herself of when she's having a bad day. The one that hit me the hardest was: "I am not a slave to my feelings. I'm the boss of them." Ok..so basically...I'm in charge of my feelings. I CAN change them. I DON'T have to wallow in the hurt and the pain and the self-pity. Doesn't that sound wonderful?? Doesn't that sound like a marvelous gift??
Ok...so how do I do that?
No, really. How?
Thought for the day: " The best thing for me to do is to position my heart in a place where I can experience God."
Every day, the devotional has a title. Today's is..."Rainy Days and Mondays."
Ha! It's Monday. And I feel like I've been rained on all day. Fitting. It's funny, cause as I've mentioned before...He's gotta be working for me...cause every day seems to be extremely fitting. Have you ever seen the movie "Analyze This"? There is a scene...right after Robert DeNiro's character talks to Billy Crystal's character at the first counseling session, Robert starts shaking his finger and says..."You. You...You're good, you." That's what I say to God. LOL!
I've been feeling a little overwhelmed for a few days now. Things are off, and I don't really want to get into the reason why, so just trust me when I say they're off. I feel alone, sad, frustrated, and angry. There are a bunch of other feelings swarming around as well...but I'm not sure I can identify them all.
I need to remember that God has a plan for me. There's a reason I'm feeling this way. Maybe it's because I'm trying to open myself up more to God and Satan just keeps trying to break me. Maybe it's because once my feelings get hurt, I have a tendency to immerse myself in it. I wallow around in self pity and refuse to face what the real problem is. See, I hate conflict. I try to avoid it as much as possible. As a matter of fact, I avoid it much to my own detriment. I end up causing more hurt and pain to myself and others cause I just won't talk. Really gotta work on that.
In the devotional, the author has a list of things that she has to remind herself of when she's having a bad day. The one that hit me the hardest was: "I am not a slave to my feelings. I'm the boss of them." Ok..so basically...I'm in charge of my feelings. I CAN change them. I DON'T have to wallow in the hurt and the pain and the self-pity. Doesn't that sound wonderful?? Doesn't that sound like a marvelous gift??
Ok...so how do I do that?
No, really. How?
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Feelings....whoa, whoa, whoa...feelings...
Scripture: Romans 2:2
Thought for the day: "How we react is a crucial gauge of what's really going on inside us."
I read Romans 1-16 in The Message version of the Bible. And then read the devotional. And, um...yeah. Way to just call me out some stuff. Appreciate it. Ok...that's a little sarcastic, but it was what I needed to hear.
The devotional talked about how the turmoils and stress in your life affects how you react to things. And it's totally true. When I've had a crappy day at work, or when I'm really stressed out, the littlest things can set me off. As I've mentioned before...self-control is an area that is lacking in my life. In reading this, it gave me a reminder that it's a continual battle that I have to fight.
Every time I read about self-control and anger and stress, etc. I think of a friend of mine that I haven't talked with in a while. He had this saying..."Your feelings follow your focus." Basically if I focus on the things that are negative, stressful, belittling ...then that's where my feelings will go and I will be one cranky Kathy. And trust me...nobody wants a cranky Kathy. Which means I need to try to find the best of every situation and realize that I may never understand why it happened, but know it happened for a reason of God's understanding and will. And trust in Him that He knows what's best.
So much easier said than done. Just sayin'.
I really liked how the reading reinforced some of the things we talked about in small group today too. The more I get involved in this, the more I am seeing how things are woven together. It's like one big tapestry. Pretty cool
Today's blog is kinda short. Reason being...it's Superbowl Sunday and we have some peeps coming over to have some fun. Safe travels to those that are heading out to parties.
I'll be back to my rambling self tomorrow!
Thought for the day: "How we react is a crucial gauge of what's really going on inside us."
I read Romans 1-16 in The Message version of the Bible. And then read the devotional. And, um...yeah. Way to just call me out some stuff. Appreciate it. Ok...that's a little sarcastic, but it was what I needed to hear.
The devotional talked about how the turmoils and stress in your life affects how you react to things. And it's totally true. When I've had a crappy day at work, or when I'm really stressed out, the littlest things can set me off. As I've mentioned before...self-control is an area that is lacking in my life. In reading this, it gave me a reminder that it's a continual battle that I have to fight.
Every time I read about self-control and anger and stress, etc. I think of a friend of mine that I haven't talked with in a while. He had this saying..."Your feelings follow your focus." Basically if I focus on the things that are negative, stressful, belittling ...then that's where my feelings will go and I will be one cranky Kathy. And trust me...nobody wants a cranky Kathy. Which means I need to try to find the best of every situation and realize that I may never understand why it happened, but know it happened for a reason of God's understanding and will. And trust in Him that He knows what's best.
So much easier said than done. Just sayin'.
I really liked how the reading reinforced some of the things we talked about in small group today too. The more I get involved in this, the more I am seeing how things are woven together. It's like one big tapestry. Pretty cool
Today's blog is kinda short. Reason being...it's Superbowl Sunday and we have some peeps coming over to have some fun. Safe travels to those that are heading out to parties.
I'll be back to my rambling self tomorrow!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
I'm a slacker!
Ok...so I'm a slacker. I totally didn't do my devotional yesterday. So today, I will be doing both in this one post.
Day 4:
Scripture: Psalm 139:13-14
Thought for the day: "Sometimes I feel guiltier for what I'm not than thankful for what I am."
Ohhh myyy. Yes!!! Again I say Yess!!! I need to hear this. And I need to repeat this over and over to myself. God loves me. God thinks I'm perfect the way I am...even with my flaws.
My self-esteem sucks. I put on a brave front and, for the most part, I think I hide it rather well. Those of you that really know me, know better. And from some of you...I can't hide anything. There are so many things that I hate about myself, if I started listing them, we'd be here all night. Some I can change, and some I can't. The ones I can change, I know I should. But it goes back to that thing we talked about about a couple days ago...it's overwhelming. And avoiding it has worked so far, right. Yeah, ok. I know.
Trying to find the good things in myself is really hard for me. But there are things that I'm thankful for about myself. And I guess I should start reminding myself about this on a daily basis. Of course this is hard for me...because it's sooooo much easier to see the negative. But, I'm going to force myself to list a couple. (If you disagree...please don't tell me...lol!)
I am thankful that....
Wow...this is harder than I thought. I have literally been sitting her thinking and I'm drawing a blank.
Ok...I'm thankful that when I finally am able to get close to someone, I will do anything I can to help them. I want to make their life easier in their hard times, happier in their sad times and laugh during their angry times.
I am also thankful that I am fiercely loyal to those I love. I may not communicate as often as I should to some of them. And that's something I am going to work on as well.
Ok..that's enough. Can you say awk-ward?! I really didn't like doing that...just sayin'.
Moving on...
Day 5:
Scripture: Proverbs 25:28
Thought for the Day: "The answer to keeping God's power with me and working in me to produce self-control is letting His Word get inside me."
I read a few different versions of this scripture, and this is the one that spoke to me the most. It's from the message:
28 A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.
A house isn't going to do you a lot of good without any doors or window. Such is life with no self control. This is a HUGE issue for me, but I have been working on this and trying to get better. I do believe that I have been slipping in this area, and I'm not sure why.
Self-control has always been hard for me. Hence the so many things I could change in my life but haven't. I have to remind myself everyday that I have a choice on how to react to situations in my life. I have the choice to get angry and have a knock down drag out with those I love, or I can choose to step away so that I don't make the situation worse. Like I said...I believe that over the past few years I have gotten better. But I'm still working on it!!
It's funny, as I'm reading this devotional, I'm really noticing how the topics really hit home with me. Well, maybe it's not funny. Maybe it's a God thing.
Yeah...it's a God thing. :)
Day 4:
Scripture: Psalm 139:13-14
Thought for the day: "Sometimes I feel guiltier for what I'm not than thankful for what I am."
Ohhh myyy. Yes!!! Again I say Yess!!! I need to hear this. And I need to repeat this over and over to myself. God loves me. God thinks I'm perfect the way I am...even with my flaws.
My self-esteem sucks. I put on a brave front and, for the most part, I think I hide it rather well. Those of you that really know me, know better. And from some of you...I can't hide anything. There are so many things that I hate about myself, if I started listing them, we'd be here all night. Some I can change, and some I can't. The ones I can change, I know I should. But it goes back to that thing we talked about about a couple days ago...it's overwhelming. And avoiding it has worked so far, right. Yeah, ok. I know.
Trying to find the good things in myself is really hard for me. But there are things that I'm thankful for about myself. And I guess I should start reminding myself about this on a daily basis. Of course this is hard for me...because it's sooooo much easier to see the negative. But, I'm going to force myself to list a couple. (If you disagree...please don't tell me...lol!)
I am thankful that....
Wow...this is harder than I thought. I have literally been sitting her thinking and I'm drawing a blank.
Ok...I'm thankful that when I finally am able to get close to someone, I will do anything I can to help them. I want to make their life easier in their hard times, happier in their sad times and laugh during their angry times.
I am also thankful that I am fiercely loyal to those I love. I may not communicate as often as I should to some of them. And that's something I am going to work on as well.
Ok..that's enough. Can you say awk-ward?! I really didn't like doing that...just sayin'.
Moving on...
Day 5:
Scripture: Proverbs 25:28
Thought for the Day: "The answer to keeping God's power with me and working in me to produce self-control is letting His Word get inside me."
I read a few different versions of this scripture, and this is the one that spoke to me the most. It's from the message:
28 A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.
A house isn't going to do you a lot of good without any doors or window. Such is life with no self control. This is a HUGE issue for me, but I have been working on this and trying to get better. I do believe that I have been slipping in this area, and I'm not sure why.
Self-control has always been hard for me. Hence the so many things I could change in my life but haven't. I have to remind myself everyday that I have a choice on how to react to situations in my life. I have the choice to get angry and have a knock down drag out with those I love, or I can choose to step away so that I don't make the situation worse. Like I said...I believe that over the past few years I have gotten better. But I'm still working on it!!
It's funny, as I'm reading this devotional, I'm really noticing how the topics really hit home with me. Well, maybe it's not funny. Maybe it's a God thing.
Yeah...it's a God thing. :)
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Shut up and listen!
Today's scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6
Thought for the day: "God is big enough to handle our honest feelings."
Ok...so today...was pretty much a crappy day. Well, not the whole day....just until about lunchtime. I go to start my car this morning...and my doors are frozen shut. Wouldn't open for nothin'. Both my son and I beat on them and tried about anything to get them open. Nope. Didn't happen. I had to call my work to have someone come get us and take us to school and work.
Then it was crazy busy at work. And I just felt so rushed and busy that I kept messing things up. I was getting so frustrated at myself!!!!
Then I had lunch with one of my besties. Not only does she always make me laugh, which we did uncontrollably, but she always has some good, logical advice for me. Now..don't get me wrong...I don't always want to hear it. But she tells me to shut up and listen anyway. Sometimes I need to hear that.
I know that I can go to my besties and tell them anything. But I often forget that I can do that with God as well. He's always there. He always loves me, no matter what I do...or don't do. He wants to listen to me...whether I'm having a good day or a bad day. He wants to hear about my successes and my failures. He wants me to be honest with Him. No matter what my feelings are at the time.
Those who know me, can attest to this. I'm a fixer. If there is a problem with one of my friends, my hubby, my kids....I want to fix it. I want to make it all better. I do that with my problems too. I constantly try to find a solution. I have a really hard time letting things go and letting things work out the way that God wants them too. And when I pray...I pray for God to fix the problem the way I want Him to fix it. It's hard for me to grasp the concept that God already knows what is going to happen and that I just need to trust in Him and follow His path.
Which all sounds easy to do. But another part of my problem is that I have a hard time hearing God. I struggle with recognizing what is His will and what is my own. I'm hoping to learn this as I attend my small group.
I loved the scripture today.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
So...that's what I'm going to try and do. Trust God and let him show me what His will is for me.
I think I can, I think I can....
5
Thought for the day: "God is big enough to handle our honest feelings."
Ok...so today...was pretty much a crappy day. Well, not the whole day....just until about lunchtime. I go to start my car this morning...and my doors are frozen shut. Wouldn't open for nothin'. Both my son and I beat on them and tried about anything to get them open. Nope. Didn't happen. I had to call my work to have someone come get us and take us to school and work.
Then it was crazy busy at work. And I just felt so rushed and busy that I kept messing things up. I was getting so frustrated at myself!!!!
Then I had lunch with one of my besties. Not only does she always make me laugh, which we did uncontrollably, but she always has some good, logical advice for me. Now..don't get me wrong...I don't always want to hear it. But she tells me to shut up and listen anyway. Sometimes I need to hear that.
I know that I can go to my besties and tell them anything. But I often forget that I can do that with God as well. He's always there. He always loves me, no matter what I do...or don't do. He wants to listen to me...whether I'm having a good day or a bad day. He wants to hear about my successes and my failures. He wants me to be honest with Him. No matter what my feelings are at the time.
Those who know me, can attest to this. I'm a fixer. If there is a problem with one of my friends, my hubby, my kids....I want to fix it. I want to make it all better. I do that with my problems too. I constantly try to find a solution. I have a really hard time letting things go and letting things work out the way that God wants them too. And when I pray...I pray for God to fix the problem the way I want Him to fix it. It's hard for me to grasp the concept that God already knows what is going to happen and that I just need to trust in Him and follow His path.
Which all sounds easy to do. But another part of my problem is that I have a hard time hearing God. I struggle with recognizing what is His will and what is my own. I'm hoping to learn this as I attend my small group.
I loved the scripture today.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
So...that's what I'm going to try and do. Trust God and let him show me what His will is for me.
I think I can, I think I can....
5
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Yay! Day 2!
Today's scripture: 1 Timothy 4:15 (And yes, I read the whole chapter. You can pretty much expect that from here on out.)
In my devotional, the thought for the day is this: "Just because something is hard doesn't mean it's impossible."
That really resonates with me. I sometimes see things that just seem so difficult that it is hard for me to find a way to figure out a way to get any progress made at all. I just feel so overwhelmed that I'm not even sure where to start. So honestly, most of the time, if it's feasible, I'll ignore it for as long as I can. Cause if I ignore it, it will go away, right? NOT!!!! LOL! Now, I'm not the kind of girl who runs away from a challenge. I enjoy a challenge. I like being able to find a solution to a rather difficult situation. Sounds kinda contradictory huh? Yeah...what can I say. I think I just like to have things orderly and have a plan. It's getting to that plan that is the difficult part for me.
I really liked one of the thoughts the author had, "Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace...imperfect progress." How perfect!! I'm hoping to remember this thought as I face the overwhelming things that come my way. Maybe...by remembering this...I won't feel as overwhelmed or ignore it!
As for the scripture...I love how encouraging it is. The verse that stuck out to me the most wasn't the one that they listed but it was 1 Timothy 4:12:
12 Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
While I like how it says that we need to be an example to all believers, I think that we need to be more of an example to the non-believers. Show them the light of God that lives within each of us.
I feel like I kinda rambled tonight. Sorry if I lost ya.
Thanks for listening....well...reading. :)
In my devotional, the thought for the day is this: "Just because something is hard doesn't mean it's impossible."
That really resonates with me. I sometimes see things that just seem so difficult that it is hard for me to find a way to figure out a way to get any progress made at all. I just feel so overwhelmed that I'm not even sure where to start. So honestly, most of the time, if it's feasible, I'll ignore it for as long as I can. Cause if I ignore it, it will go away, right? NOT!!!! LOL! Now, I'm not the kind of girl who runs away from a challenge. I enjoy a challenge. I like being able to find a solution to a rather difficult situation. Sounds kinda contradictory huh? Yeah...what can I say. I think I just like to have things orderly and have a plan. It's getting to that plan that is the difficult part for me.
I really liked one of the thoughts the author had, "Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace...imperfect progress." How perfect!! I'm hoping to remember this thought as I face the overwhelming things that come my way. Maybe...by remembering this...I won't feel as overwhelmed or ignore it!
As for the scripture...I love how encouraging it is. The verse that stuck out to me the most wasn't the one that they listed but it was 1 Timothy 4:12:
12 Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
While I like how it says that we need to be an example to all believers, I think that we need to be more of an example to the non-believers. Show them the light of God that lives within each of us.
I feel like I kinda rambled tonight. Sorry if I lost ya.
Thanks for listening....well...reading. :)
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
In the beginning...
For a while now, I've been struggling with my journey in Christ. I believe in God, have faith in what He can do, wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer and can see Him moving in other people's lives. Shoot...I can even see Him moving in my life. However, I know that I am not as close to Him as I would like to be. I've tried reading the Bible...I've tried reading devotionals...but I just never seem to follow through. I get confused, frustrated and honestly...just flat out bored. I start out like a champ...but within 2 weeks...I'm over it.
I've decided that it's time to change that. I'm going to use this blog as a way to hold myself accountable. If you're reading this, I encourage you to hold me accountable as well.
I've decided to attend a small group that has started at my church (Ravenna Church of the Nazarene - if you don't have church home or are looking for a new one...come see us! Shameless plug, I know!) called Experiencing God. I'm really looking forward to this series because it's supposed to teach me different ways to get closer to God.
I'm also starting a devotional. My pastor and his wife gave me a book to use. It's titled "Unglued Devotional: 60 Days of Imperfect Progress" by Lysa Terkeurst. http://lysaterkeurst.com/unglued/
So basically here is the purpose of this blog: To read a devotion every day, the scripture that goes along with it and then write what I got out of it in here. So yep...post something everyday. I've even going to make sure that I put a link on my Facebook page. I plan on being completely honest and even blunt. Feel free to comment as I welcome any comments that will help me grow and learn.
Well...here we go!
Day 1: Scripture - Isaiah 41:13 (I actually read the whole chapter...it's hard to get the context by just one verse.)
Today, the author talks about becoming unglued. Being on an emotional roller coaster where she is nice and happy one day...then completely swinging in the other direction and being frustrated, angry and out of control the next day.
Hmmm...sure sounds like she's talking about me! I can totally relate to this. (I'm sure my hubby and kids would agree!) While I think I've gotten better over the past couple years, I can feel myself slipping again. Stress from work, outside organizations I'm involved in, and the general busyness of life has really started to take it's toll on me and I do feel like I'm losing that self control a little more each day.
It's not fair to my family, my co-workers, my friends...or for that matter...me.
So...what I got from the scripture was that God is with me all the time. He is there to make a way for me, to support me, to take care of me and to protect me. I just need to not doubt Him. As my friend April says...God's not up there wringing his hands with worry. He knows exactly what's going on and I need to trust in Him and stop trying to control everything in my life. Honestly, when I try to get control everything...that's when I feel even more out of control.
Here's my prayer for today:
Heavenly Father, please help me see the areas in which you are working in my life. Help me develop a passion for reading your Word and a desire to learn more about You. I love You and thank You for all that You have given me. Amen.
So there's day 1. Hmm...it wasn't that hard. Let's try this again tomorrow. Same bat-time, same bat-station. :)
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